This morning while driving to work I listened to music radio. For many years I would turn on talk radio to hear the latest news and grumblings about all things political and happenings going on in Chicago. I guess today was time to make a change, to go back to what I used to love and sing along with the radio.
So, today I listened to music. I wanted to hear some Prince songs, I knew there’d be one or two stations with a dedication and sure enough I had a few selections to choose from. There were other songs too, many that I couldn’t even begin to tell you who the artist was but it was nice. Just to drive and sing and think.
I guess first of all today is also a day I finally felt like posting a blog post. I haven’t really known what to say — on the internet that is — sure I have all kinds of things to say but I knew you all would probably not want to hear a lot of drivel. I guess the big news here is that our dog Holly lost her battle with cancer.
I took this photo of her a week or two before she passed. I had brought her into the groomer and asked them to give her a cut that would make her comfortable. You can see she is lifting her right leg and her coat is covering up a very nasty tumor. Her tumor had returned so quickly and it started growing very very rapidly, I could hardly believe how quickly it was consuming her.
I let her call the shots and took one day at a time. Then one day she just couldn’t keep anything down and started to refuse to eat. I had been through it before with my other animals that you’ll do anything to try and get them to eat, to not face what is coming. Your head knows but your heart doesn’t want to believe. She ate 6 peanut M&M’s on a Sunday (something I’d not normally give any animal but I was eating them and I let her try it…well she at it). She ate some raw hamburger on Monday and some turkey on Tuesday and then just water. She faded very quickly but would always look at me and never leave me out of her sight. I think dogs are very optimistic and I waited for that moment when she knew. Then on Thursday night she wanted to make sure both Jim and I were together and all 3 of us would be sleeping in the same place. She herded us to bed. Later, probably about 2am I got up and took her outside and then slept with her in the guest bedroom. She stayed right there.
In the morning I took her in to have her put to sleep. On this ride to the vet’s office she was very calm, she wasn’t shaking and while we waited she fell asleep in my lap. The vet gave her the injections and she only looked up for a moment before she was gone. I now have her ashes back in a lovely ceramic urn the clinic gave me and I placed her in the window for the time being.
I knew it was going to be weird for me. She was the last of my pets. I’ve had a pet for 26 years and coming home to an empty quite house is so strange. I’m not going to get another pet until I’m ready. Some experience has taught me that it takes time to go through all the mourning stages. So today I listened to music.
I’ve also been starting my walking again. I really want to get to 10,000 steps a day. I’m almost there. My average has been about 7,000 per day so hopefully in another week or so I’ll be there. I keep joking that I need to get another dog so I’ll be forced to take it for a walk! Ha!!!
I’ve also been pulling myself away from the TV and working on all those WIP’s!!!
Here is my design wall…I’ve got 3 of the many items I’m working on up there.
This is a little simple baby quilt pattern I’m working on for my shop…
…and this is a border I’m working on for my Arrowhead Goose Chase scrap quilt….
…and this is a few tubs dumped out on the bed to sort through the savings….
…I think there’s a time where you just have to ask yourself if you are ever going to finish something and if not then make a decision on what to do with it.
Outside, Jim’s pansies have perked up and are looking pretty,
I bought some succulents at a local educational greenhouse plant sale, with some pots in hopes to get those planted…
Our Cherry and Peach trees are blooming so I’ll need to go out with my paint brushes and do some hand pollinating this weekend….
…and our pine tree named ‘Stumpy’ guards Chloe’s flowers as they come up this Spring.
Changes are happening ever so slowly but it is good to move along and start the slate clean with Spring…
2 thoughts on “So Many Changes”
So sorry about your dog. It’s always hard.
I’m so sorry for your loss 😦 I had a co-worker go through the same thing last week…it’s just heart-wrenching. I think you’re doing the right thing letting yourself mourn her loss before considering another pet. Sending thoughts of comfort your way.
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